Paid In Full

I was nowhere near,
ready when all it ended.
So I hoped we could find a new day,
cannot live without you.

You gave me the chance,
time and again, in vain.
Now my feelings for you,
every tear, every smile, paid in full.

Break the chain,
but no longer can I take the pain.

It's hard for me to love myself right now.
I've waited, hated, blamed it all on you.

Needed to be strong,
yet I was always too weak.

So I can only blame myself,
for this state we are in.
I will take what you have for me now,
if it's not too late.

Did you change?
I did too!
Love can grow from the last grain.

It's hard for me to love myself right now,
I've waited, hated, blamed it all on you.

I need you less and less,
every day feeds this moral decay.
Yet I have grown to love you even more.

I fall back and I turn another cheek.
You mouth the words, you're not ready to speak.
You're scared of me now, I never had a clue,
that I'd become so much stronger than you.

I will take what you have for me now,
if it's not too late.
If you like, I will leave,
I will not miss the last train again.

It's hard for me to love myself right now.
I've waited, hated, blamed it all on you.
It's hard for me to love your face right now.
I'm waiting, hating, needing being me.

I need you less and less,
every day leads us farther away,
from that moment.

It's hard for me to hate myself right now,
finally I understanding me.
One day we may have a new me's and you's,
but first I need to learn to love me too.